Mommy's Prayer

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord my shape to keep
Please no wrinkles; please no bags; and please lift my butt before it sags
Please no age spots; please no gray; and as for my belly, please take it away
Please keep me healthy; please keep me young

And thank you, Dear Lord, for all you've done

It seems like I've been in the copy/past mode lately, but this was perfect for today; albeit, a little late for some of the requests ~ let's try this again: A little late for ALL of them.

We leave to Sacramento in 31 days, one month, and I want to lose 10 pounds before boarding the plane. To some people that is a very doable goal. To me it's not much different than climbing Mt. Everest.

Before I go any further, I want to put in the disclaimer that I know my family and friends love me at this weight or any other. The trip is simply a motivational tool to help ME, because that's who I want to do it for is myself. And although the BMI charts say I'm still at a healthy weight for my height, I'm not comfortable at this size and really want to get back to my pre-M weight.

At the start of 2009, AK and I started a contest to see who could lose the most weight in three months. He smoked me! M wasn't sleeping through the night and the gym wouldn't take her until she was 6 months. A couple of months later, in an effort not to go out and buy new clothes for our very-short summer, I did a two-week diet that promised a loss of 8 to 13 lbs. I lost 6. It was just enough to get the zippers up. And then about a year ago, I embarked on yet another Biggest-Loser style diet with the girls. The pot was big but my motivation wasn't. I lost just enough to get my money back but have since gained it and the previous 6 pounds back.

I don't like to exercise, that's no secret. I love junk food. That's a bad combination. It's been a struggle, but this is the most motivated I've been. I sometimes ~ very seldom, but sometimes ~ look forward to going to the gym. I've devised a two-day on, one-day off plan that seems like a reasonable goal, yet for one reason or another I can't seem to get there.

Between grocery shopping, running errands, BabyGym, M's sleep schedule, and the gym's childcare schedule, it's overwhelming. I think that I'll go early in the morning before D goes to work but that never works. I tell myself I'll work out at home while M naps ~ never happens. Maybe I'll go after dinner, I think. I think NOT when after dinner comes around.

Back in August when we purchased our tickets for Cali, I told myself I was going to lose a pound a week until the day arrived. One pound a week didn't seem like a daunting task but it's really proved otherwise. Shorty thereafter I twisted my ankle; then my mom came to visit; school started, and on and on.

Last week I had to go to Js school to volunteer. I had to be there at 9:45 so I got to the gym at 8:55 to be there right when childcare opened and I could get in 35 minutes before heading out. Well, I forgot my ID because I used it the last time I was there and forgot to put it back in my wallet, and policy states that everybody needs an ID to check kids in and out. So much for that. On a different note, my ID has since been upgraded to Lost status.

Today, I did my grocery shopping first thing, came home and cooked dinner so that this afternoon as soon as J got off the bus we could head there, be the first in line for the 4pm opening of childcare, get an hour in, and be home in time to have that dinner on the table by around 5:30. Well, guess what? Childcare doesn't open until 4:30, which normally would have been okay, but my efficiency came back to bite me in the flabby butt that I possess. The kids were having Salmon and I set my oven to start preheating by 5 to ensure it was nice and toasty when I got home from my supposed workout.

Seriously? Seriously.

So for today, my prayer, or a revised version of it, is all that I have left.

Oh, and my belly, yeah, that's hanging around too ~ kinda literally.

I really need to get to the gym!